A Heavy Reminder

A result of my inability to sit still is that I am often seeking out adventures for my kids and I on the weekends. To me, there is nothing worse than a weekend without plans. Well, last weekend, my mother suggested the idea of taking the kids to a local museum. This isn't an ordinary museum, it's a small community of historic houses that were lived in from the the late 17th century until the early 20th century. They have been preserved and offer a ton of historical insight on the way of life during that time. What a fantastic idea it was to walk the museum on a beautiful and sunny June day.

I had the brilliant idea to carry Nataliya, my nearly one year old, in her Bjorn backpack. Not only would it be difficult to navigate a stroller through the old and narrow New England Colonials, it'd also boost up the impact of our leisurely stroll. By the end of our 2 hour tour, I was begging to be finished because my back was aching and I desperately needed a drink of water. We got to the car and as I lifted Nataliya out of the backpack into her carseat, the relief was overwhelming. What a big girl she has gotten to be in the last 12 months!!

Then, it dawned on me. My beautiful Nataliya weighs approximately 19lbs. A light bulb went off when I realized she weighs almost exactly as much as I have lost in my journey so far. WOW! There is no better way to put my weight loss into perspective. I carried 19lbs for two hours and then was able to remove it and feel the instantaneous relief. It is now 5 days later and I'm still in utter amazement and my motivation has been taken to a whole new level.

Often times, the numbers on a scale become meaningless. Right, I weighed 220lbs before I started my journey, but that means nothing now. The only thing I know is how I feel at this moment. I feel great, but didn't I feel great before? Of course not, but it's hard to keep that feeling in perspective throughout a journey that is as long as the one I'm facing. I'm eager to experiment with this again in another 20lbs. It's not likely I'll carry my 40lb Lilyana for two hours in a backpack, but you can bet I'll come up with something quite similar. Can you imagine how good that will feel??

Dear Mr. Fudge Brownie Mix:

I bought you on sale one weekend because I just couldn't resist. Well, months later, you still remain on my pantry shelf waiting to be cooked into a warm fudge-like delicacy. I had dreams for you. I envisioned you warm under a scoop of melting vanilla ice cream, I craved a bite of you topped with peanut butter, I even hoped to share late nights with you after the kids got tucked in for bed.

Then, I'm not sure how it happened, but I began to think differently about our relationship. I still desire your sweet taste, but I'm not giving into the temptation. You see, Mr. Fudge Brownie Mix, you have a power over me. I can't just have one itty bitty square of your goodness, it's not possible. As you cool off in a pan, you scream at me, you lure me into temptations, and lasso me into your control.

I'm taking a stand against you. I'm not going to let you take advantage of me any longer. You laugh at me when I look at myself in a mirror. You ridicule my courage. And, quite frankly, you make me feel like poo.

Sincerely,
Erin (The skinny one on the inside...)

I'm Skinny!

Well, not exactly. But I've been feeling so great the past few days. My pants are fitting around my waist correctly, my shirts aren't tight across my body, and my boobs are no longer spilling out the sides of my bra. Occasionally, I can even see my collarbone when I look into a mirror. Amazing!!

In my last post, 11 days ago, I was feeling a bit down on the lack of progress in my journey. In hindsight, my Memorial Day weekend probably wasn't as successful as I thought it had been. I had taken a week off of working out and counting my calories was on the back burner for several days. Imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scale and 3lbs magically reappeared.  I was feeling weak (figuratively), defeated, and bloated. I got through it though. I stopped worrying about what had been and started controlling what was. Really, when I think back, something like this was usually enough to set me off track indefinitely. But I didn't let it this time. I fought back.

I've been hitting my workouts hard again. I've increased the intensity some which has made them more difficult than they had been. There have even been a couple times when I just didn't have the energy to continue and pushed stop half way through an hour workout. I think this has a lot to do with me working out so late at night (starting no earlier than 9:30pm). My poor body is exhausted at that time of the night and it sometimes doesn't want to give me the energy I need to push through it. But, often times I do. When I finish, I love heading up to shower and to watch the television shows that I DVRd earlier in the evening. This is my favorite part of the day and it's rewarding to experience it after treating myself to a nice hard workout.

I'm just 4lbs away from leaving the 200s!! My goal is to reach that sooner than later, but no later than June 30th. YES I CAN!!:)

Tough week

I'm having a tough time getting back on the bandwagon with my workouts. I took last week off since I was going to be spending half the week on vacation. While I thought this was a great idea to "reward" my hard work, I'm beginning to think differently. I heard somewhere (but don't remember where) about keeping the integrity of your lifestyle change. By taking days, off I have essentially ruined the integrity of my routine which is making it easier to make excuses to skip my workouts. Here are the excuses I've been using:

• I'm tired
• I'll work out extra hard tomorrow
• Today is my day off
• I'll start off better next week
• It's my husbands day off, I'm going to spend time with him
• I have laundry to do
• The kids need me to (fill in the blank)

The list could go on and on and on from here. But, quite frankly, those excuses are what got me here in the first place. I'm feeling so great about my progress I can't let my excuses get the best of me and what I deserve. I had thought about starting fresh on Monday, but forget that. I'm going to start tonight. I'm going to do a long cardio workout for the next three days THEN start on week 9 of Turbofire. I can do this...I'm worth it!!:)