A Heavy Reminder

A result of my inability to sit still is that I am often seeking out adventures for my kids and I on the weekends. To me, there is nothing worse than a weekend without plans. Well, last weekend, my mother suggested the idea of taking the kids to a local museum. This isn't an ordinary museum, it's a small community of historic houses that were lived in from the the late 17th century until the early 20th century. They have been preserved and offer a ton of historical insight on the way of life during that time. What a fantastic idea it was to walk the museum on a beautiful and sunny June day.

I had the brilliant idea to carry Nataliya, my nearly one year old, in her Bjorn backpack. Not only would it be difficult to navigate a stroller through the old and narrow New England Colonials, it'd also boost up the impact of our leisurely stroll. By the end of our 2 hour tour, I was begging to be finished because my back was aching and I desperately needed a drink of water. We got to the car and as I lifted Nataliya out of the backpack into her carseat, the relief was overwhelming. What a big girl she has gotten to be in the last 12 months!!

Then, it dawned on me. My beautiful Nataliya weighs approximately 19lbs. A light bulb went off when I realized she weighs almost exactly as much as I have lost in my journey so far. WOW! There is no better way to put my weight loss into perspective. I carried 19lbs for two hours and then was able to remove it and feel the instantaneous relief. It is now 5 days later and I'm still in utter amazement and my motivation has been taken to a whole new level.

Often times, the numbers on a scale become meaningless. Right, I weighed 220lbs before I started my journey, but that means nothing now. The only thing I know is how I feel at this moment. I feel great, but didn't I feel great before? Of course not, but it's hard to keep that feeling in perspective throughout a journey that is as long as the one I'm facing. I'm eager to experiment with this again in another 20lbs. It's not likely I'll carry my 40lb Lilyana for two hours in a backpack, but you can bet I'll come up with something quite similar. Can you imagine how good that will feel??

Dear Mr. Fudge Brownie Mix:

I bought you on sale one weekend because I just couldn't resist. Well, months later, you still remain on my pantry shelf waiting to be cooked into a warm fudge-like delicacy. I had dreams for you. I envisioned you warm under a scoop of melting vanilla ice cream, I craved a bite of you topped with peanut butter, I even hoped to share late nights with you after the kids got tucked in for bed.

Then, I'm not sure how it happened, but I began to think differently about our relationship. I still desire your sweet taste, but I'm not giving into the temptation. You see, Mr. Fudge Brownie Mix, you have a power over me. I can't just have one itty bitty square of your goodness, it's not possible. As you cool off in a pan, you scream at me, you lure me into temptations, and lasso me into your control.

I'm taking a stand against you. I'm not going to let you take advantage of me any longer. You laugh at me when I look at myself in a mirror. You ridicule my courage. And, quite frankly, you make me feel like poo.

Sincerely,
Erin (The skinny one on the inside...)

I'm Skinny!

Well, not exactly. But I've been feeling so great the past few days. My pants are fitting around my waist correctly, my shirts aren't tight across my body, and my boobs are no longer spilling out the sides of my bra. Occasionally, I can even see my collarbone when I look into a mirror. Amazing!!

In my last post, 11 days ago, I was feeling a bit down on the lack of progress in my journey. In hindsight, my Memorial Day weekend probably wasn't as successful as I thought it had been. I had taken a week off of working out and counting my calories was on the back burner for several days. Imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scale and 3lbs magically reappeared.  I was feeling weak (figuratively), defeated, and bloated. I got through it though. I stopped worrying about what had been and started controlling what was. Really, when I think back, something like this was usually enough to set me off track indefinitely. But I didn't let it this time. I fought back.

I've been hitting my workouts hard again. I've increased the intensity some which has made them more difficult than they had been. There have even been a couple times when I just didn't have the energy to continue and pushed stop half way through an hour workout. I think this has a lot to do with me working out so late at night (starting no earlier than 9:30pm). My poor body is exhausted at that time of the night and it sometimes doesn't want to give me the energy I need to push through it. But, often times I do. When I finish, I love heading up to shower and to watch the television shows that I DVRd earlier in the evening. This is my favorite part of the day and it's rewarding to experience it after treating myself to a nice hard workout.

I'm just 4lbs away from leaving the 200s!! My goal is to reach that sooner than later, but no later than June 30th. YES I CAN!!:)

Tough week

I'm having a tough time getting back on the bandwagon with my workouts. I took last week off since I was going to be spending half the week on vacation. While I thought this was a great idea to "reward" my hard work, I'm beginning to think differently. I heard somewhere (but don't remember where) about keeping the integrity of your lifestyle change. By taking days, off I have essentially ruined the integrity of my routine which is making it easier to make excuses to skip my workouts. Here are the excuses I've been using:

• I'm tired
• I'll work out extra hard tomorrow
• Today is my day off
• I'll start off better next week
• It's my husbands day off, I'm going to spend time with him
• I have laundry to do
• The kids need me to (fill in the blank)

The list could go on and on and on from here. But, quite frankly, those excuses are what got me here in the first place. I'm feeling so great about my progress I can't let my excuses get the best of me and what I deserve. I had thought about starting fresh on Monday, but forget that. I'm going to start tonight. I'm going to do a long cardio workout for the next three days THEN start on week 9 of Turbofire. I can do this...I'm worth it!!:)

Memorial Day Weekend

My kids and I took a 5 day weekend to visit my cousin and her family in Ft. Drum, NY. Thursday morning before we set out on our 6 hour trip, I hopped on the scale hoping to see a friendly number. I did!! It was 205. I'm not sure why, but this number was absolutely thrilling!! I smiled so happily and got dressed with more confidence than I've had in at least 3 years.

I thought about this number constantly throughout the last 5 days. I couldn't even bear the thought of seeing anything higher at the end of my trip. The scary part is, I didn't count any calories and I was pretty sedentary the entire trip (I burned fewer calories on each of  those 5 days than I do in a normal work day when I sit at my desk all day). It was a kick back and relax type of weekend that can easily pack on pounds...the thought was daunting.

Because of my long weekend/ mini vacation, I gave myself a week break from TurboFire last week after my last official weigh-in/measure. This week, I'll be starting week 9 which focuses on HIIT workouts. They are fast and furious which I like because being a mom of three it can be hard (but it's not impossible) to fit in a long workout. I start tonight...I can't wait!! I'm hoping to see big changes on the scale this week as well. I can taste being under 200lbs. It's just sooo close!!!

<3 Erin

BTW: The scale said 205 this morning. Happy Tuesday!

A Recent Change

Just last week, I started eating Lean Cuisine frozen dinners for my lunch with a serving of fruit. Prior to that, I had been eating a subway sandwich packed with veggies, a bag of baked lays, and a chocolate chip cookie. While all of those calories were accounted for, I was constantly feeling bloated after lunch and knew deep down that this extremely satisfying lunch wasn't helping in my journey.

Lately, I have been feeling so much better throughout the day. I had always steered clear from frozen processed meals because of the sodium content (among other things), however, it occurred to me that the sodium in the Lean Cuisine is no greater than what I was eating at Subway.

The greatest change this made for me is that I am no longer consuming the majority of my daily calorie goal before 12pm. This is allowing me to enjoy my dinners more and is also giving me wiggle room for a family ice cream outing after dinner or even a missed workout. I'm no longer playing catch-up late at night. We'll see how this helps in the next few weeks...stay tuned.

Coming Clean: My Stats

I will post my stats here every 4 weeks.

This is hard. Really hard. I haven't even come clean to my husband about what you are about to see.

5/23/2011
Weight: 207 **Down 8.5lbs (13.5 Total)
Inches: 206" **Down 8" (18.5" Total)

Summary: This was my first weigh-in/measure after using my bodybugg for 4 weeks. My bodybugg has allowed me to take a better look at my activity levels and also helped me pay better attention to my food intake. I didn't, however, keep a journal of my food. I strictly used my own mental calculations to calculate my caloric intake. I also continued to follow Chalene Johnson's Turbofire workout each day.

• Chest: 45"
• R Arm: 13.5"
• L Arm: 13.5"
• Waist: 45.5"
• Hips: 41.5"
• R Thigh 23.5"
• L Thigh 23.5"

4/18/2011
Weight: 215.5 **Down 5lbs
Total inches: 214" **Down 10.5 inches

Summary: I started the Chalene Johnson TurboFire program. I did the daily workouts and did a mental calculation of the food I was eating.

• Chest: 46"
• R Arm: 14"
• L Arm: 14"
• Waist: 48.5"
• Hips: 43"
• R Thigh 24"
• L Thigh 24.5"

3/14/2011 (Start Day)
Weight: 220.5
Total inches: 224.5"

• Chest: 49"
• R Arm: 15"
• L Arm: 14.5"
• Waist: 50.5"
• Hips: 44.5"
• R Thigh 26"
• L Thigh 25"